Excerpt from
Date Out Of Your League
Chapter 5: Conquering Fear
THE ONLY THING TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF
We human beings tend to be plagued with self-doubt, a lack of confidence, and fears of almost everything imaginable. Most of the time, our fears are unfounded and simply based on our insecurities—on our own feelings of inadequacy or things we simply don't understand and can't explain.
At best, fear erodes our confidence. It could be fear that a woman does not like you, a fear of rejection, or a fear of failure. At worst, fear can completely destroy your confidence, and dominate your life.
The trick—to attracting women, to succeeding in business and in life, as well as to moving forward in all of your endeavors—is to not let fear get the better of you.
"Yeah, easier said than done," you're probably thinking.
Not really. I believe that fear is a beast like any other. One to be confronted, tackled, and conquered.
Let's address four specific types of fear connected to this book.
Fear of Disapproval or Rejection—The method for conquering a fear of disapproval or rejection is to understand that you simply cannot please everyone. You must accept that fact that everyone has different motives, goals, tastes, likes, and dislikes. What matters is that you remain true to what you know to be important and right, and to have faith and belief in your goals. If you are certain about who you are and what you want, you will be able to put this fear aside because your opinion will be the one that counts most.
I don't know the key to success, but I know the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
—Bill Cosby
Fear of Failure—The key to overcoming the fear of failing is to change your concept and definition of failure, and that is as simple as changing your attitude. Embrace the concept of perseverance, and change your attitude to see things not in terms of perfection, but rather in terms of batting averages and practice shots. Recognize that even the best of the best miss over 50% of the time, and you'll soon realize that "failure" is not necessarily negative, but instead, a means by which you're getting one step closer to realizing success.
You can't score if you keep your bat on your shoulder.
—Casey Stengel
It's not whether you get knocked down. It's whether you get up again.
—Vince Lombardi
Fear of the Unknown—The things we don't know, can't understand, or can't explain are what I refer to as, "fear of the unknown." For instance, when we were children, we feared darkness and the boogyman. As an adult, we may fear people of different cultures and beliefs. There is a simple remedy for this kind of fear—knowledge. Knowledge brings a comforting familiarity to the unfamiliar, unheard-of, and obscure.
"A perspicacious and a must read. It's the real thing."
-- Debbie Schlussel"One of the best books on picking up women...by a woman!"
-- Chris Sellick"The fantasy of all average Joes..."
-- Melanie Risdon"'Date Out Of Your League' will inspire you."
-- Lisa Ann Williamson"April Masini is"
-- Steve Kasper"Not just for singles...all men need a review."
-- Ginger Cohran"A great book that tells the truth!"
-- Alex Hamilton"Informative and insightful without being preachy."
-- Jeffrey Katz"A Five Star Guide for Men."
-- Lamont"A Boost of Confidence"
-- I've Got Game
